Memory, Molly and Mum

When mum first came to stay, her short term memory was such that I was beginning to think that she would never remember that we had three dogs, that they lived in the house down south, that they had names, and that they had characters. She spent about six months calling them by their colour and forgetting about them completely, though she always loved having them around.  I was also not familiar with what Alzheimer’s patients can and can’t do. I imagined that if you had a terrible short term memory then you wouldn’t be able to remember much in the recent past: that would seem logical. This seems to hold true for some things but not for others. I’m sure she doesn’t know from one day to the next whether she has had breakfast, lunch or dinner. She certainly doesn’t remember if she has just had a cup of tea. She frequently forgets where rooms are. New names and faces are very confusing for her; and sometimes old ones can be as well. She has been known to tell me about what Lesley is doing just now. There is no point trying to teach her to do something new e.g. work the TV or DVD or make a cup of tea (mind you I have issues with all the remotes too). And definitely don’t try and teach her a new game of cards. Doesn’t work.

However some things she does remember. For example, she carries her wash-bag around everywhere, she constantly worries that it is safe, and it must either be in a safe place when we go out or it has to come too. She keeps all her letters, her Sri Lankan coins which she thinks are worth heaps of money (in reality about 50 rupees) and her comb in it. She must know where it is. When she inadvertently left it in the toilet in the Fortress I went into complete melt down and had the hotel staff checking everywhere till it was finally found.

The dogs though especially her relationship with Molly recently has demonstrated that her short term memory does work for some things: notably this little dog who is really on her last legs.  When I come in from work in Colombo these days, I get questions such as “And how were the dogs?” “What happened with Molly at the vet? “ “How is Molly?” She obviously thinks I have been away visiting the dogs – if only! There could be various reasons for this confusion.  We spent most of August with the dogs. Now we see them only at weekends. So she obviously thinks they are around; she just doesn’t know where. And as she is not really aware that she spends half her time in an apartment in Colombo and the rest of the time in a house in Unawatuna, it makes sense on one level to assume that I must be away visiting the dogs.

She has definitely picked up on the fact that Molly is special. She would say her favourite dog is Sandy who constantly sits with her and follows her everywhere; but Molly and mum have formed a special bond. They are both up there in terms of years. Mum just turned 85 and Molly 14 (98 in people years).  Having spent every morning over a month with Molly, mum knows that Molly has issues and has a special place in the household. At breakfast time, Chaminda cooks Molly chicken and bacon, mixes this with rice and then adds a boiled egg.  The other two dogs get nothing in the morning. I hasten to add that this is not because they never get fed; it’s just that Molly is underweight and her kidneys are failing and the vet says she has to increase her weight in order to maintain stability. Therefore Molly gets her syrup first which is shot down her throat with a plastic syringe; 50% of the time this fails miserably and the syrup goes everywhere. The theory is that this will settle her stomach and give her an appetite. I’m not convinced that this works. Then typically me and mum watch her and the other dogs closely to ensure that Molly and not Sandy and Crazy demolish the contents of the dog bowl.  They watch Molly hovering around the bowl but not eating. Eventually she will pick at it and even later she will actually more or less finish it. It is a major event getting Molly to eat. And it is repeated every morning we are down south.

Mum also has noticed that Molly goes to the vet a lot. Either I take her, which involves me doing a 4 hour drive up and down to Colombo, or Molly comes up during the week in a van driven by Nihal and accompanied by Chaminda (or in the last visit by Chaminda’s dad as Chaminda was away visiting his mother in law at hospital). This is not because there are no vets down south. There are. But I prefer trusting Pet Vet in Colombo who can do all the necessary tests on her there and then and can explain the various options to me in terms I understand. Their treatment has also been right so far. In December they said she might not last the month but the saline she gets and the constant monitoring is keeping her going. We have to phone up for the test results. Mum is interested in the test results. I don’t think she understands what they mean beyond if they are good or not. She certainly does not understand that Molly has failing kidneys and that the saline she gets in different amounts and frequencies according to how her last tests are, will keep her stable for a while but this is not going to last forever. The whole saline drama mum has also watched a lot recently. Chaminda and me sitting with Molly while her saline goes into her drip by drip - it takes a while. Now, mum says when the test results come back normal, “Oh that’s good - the little dog will feel better.”

Molly has developed a special relationship with my mum towards bed time. When we sit playing cards before mum goes to bed, Molly wanders into her bedroom to see if she is there then looks over at us as if to say “Isn’t it time you were in your bed? I want to go to mine! Hurry up!” When mum does make the move to the bedroom, Molly is there immediately. She gets on her bed and is most annoyed if I try to get her off so I can sort the sheets on the bed. And she’s there all night at the bottom of the bed. They both sleep a lot. She’s still there in the morning and she stays there till mum is up, showered and dressed and only then will she stir from the bottom of the bed and stand in front of mum while she tries to get past her on route to the porch to have breakfast.

Mum definitely worries about Molly. That tells me her short term memory still functions in some areas. And I reckon Molly worries about mum. Conclusion : empathy overrides short term memory loss.