 |
| The Garden |
What makes me smile these days? Wouldn’t have believed it 6 months ago. But here goes:-
- the sight of a big black freight tanker on the horizon in the Indian Ocean
- the chattering of a two year old in Sinhala
- my mum and my two dogs curled up in bed together
- steps on the highway on the new expressway between Colombo and Galle
- a pack of cards for rummy
- an Andre Rieu concert
Why? These are what get a consistently positive reaction from my mum. I know a lot of people thought I was mad – they told me so! But when my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and it became apparent that she could not live on her own any more ( with no matter how many carers) and she ended up sectioned in hospital, I spent a couple of grim weeks going round the local care homes in Scotland.
Why couldn’t I take care of her? Well, I live in Sri Lanka where I am a teacher trainer for the British Council, and jobs in the UK would be difficult if not impossible to come by, so initially it wasn’t even an idea. I went through the motions, got her on waiting lists. However neither me nor my brothers (one in Holland and one down the south of England) were anywhere near the care homes in Scotland where she would have ended up.
When I came back to Sri Lanka, a seed of an idea took root. Maybe she could come and live with me. Financially home care was affordable, she wasn’t physically limited – in fact that was one of the problems when she was living at home – she kept running up to the booze shop then forgetting what she had drunk. She was too mobile. And when I checked, yes her meds were available here, yes I could get her a dependents visa, yes there was a good neurologist locally, and surprisingly an Alzheimer’s Day Care Centre had just opened in Colombo. The highway joining Colombo to Galle where I have my house opened up the month before she arrived cutting down the travel time from 3 to 2 hours every weekend. It almost began to feel like it was meant to be.
How’s it going? Well, hence the blog. I don’t know much about Alzheimer’s although I have done a bit of googling and reading. There doesn’t seem that much help for carers beyond very practical advice on how to keep people clean and well fed. Activities and how to talk to patients, interact with them, keep them interested, involved and engaged with life are few and far between. So how is it going? We end up in strange situations. We have very bizarre conversations which no one else would get. We have good and bad days. There are some things, like the sight of tankers (must be black) on the horizon, which make all the difference to our days. The reaction of others is illuminating: people you thought would visit, don’t, and others who you did not even consider, do and turn out to be incredibly helpful. Dogs, very young kids and Andre Rieu turn out to be life’s treasures!
It’s a horrible disease and there is really nothing funny about it. But there are still moments that can be enjoyed and things that can be maximized and minimized. I’d like to use this blog to record some of them.
